I Gave Birth To A Ninja

HI! Remember us?  Yes, we're still here. It's been over 2 years since I last posted anything and SO MUCH has happened in that time. I had good intention of posting, but kept getting distracted by other things and never got around to it. {I started this post months ago.  See...distracted.}  I really want to go back and fill in some of those missing pieces, but for now I'm going to jump ahead a little bit to life's most recent event. This is going to be a detailed story that most people probably aren't interested in reading. However, I want it written down for us and for her if she ever wants to read it. So, here it goes. The story of Ninja Baby.

While I was pregnant I called her Ninja Baby. I never knew something so small could kick and punch so intensely. I was CONVINCED this kid was coming out in full Ninja costume. She's continued to live up to that name. I'm not sure if it's to confirm my feelings or to spite me.

So, Ninja Baby's story... At my 39 week doctor appointment my doctor assured me that I would not still be pregnant at 41 weeks. So at my 40 week appointment we pulled out the calendar to schedule induction. This was on a Monday. Conveniently my doctor was on call beginning Friday morning, so we agreed to schedule for that weekend instead of waiting until the following week. Tho we were ready and anxiously awaiting her arrival, leaving the clinic with an actual date was one of the weirdest feelings. Exciting, but weird. The plan was to go in Thursday night so we spent the days between Monday and Wednesday wondering if she'd come on her own before then and doing what we could to relax, prepare, and enjoy the last few days before life would forever change. We went out to eat Wednesday night at Ruth's Chris for a much-too-expensive "last supper" knowing that might be the last nice meal we would get to enjoy in a long time. We both worked Thursday which was again a very strange feeling. We were keeping our induction date a secret, so I did my best to act like it was any other day. Those strange feelings lasted all day as I secretly went through all of my "lasts" with my kiddos at school. Leaving without really saying goodbye was the strangest moment of all.

So, Thursday night. We were told to be at the hospital at 6:30 so they could give me cervidil. I wasn't dilated at all. The cervidil helps to start that process usually without causing any contractions or other signs of labor. Until that point I hadn't had any signs. We'd spend the night at the hospital then I'd be induced in the morning. We were told to relax, get some sleep, and stay comfortable as the cervidil would cause some cramping, but again, most likely not any labor.

Funny joke. It was 7:30 when they placed the cervidil and by 10:00 I was 4 cm dilated and having contractions. I went from 0 cm to 4 cm in just 10 minutes.  A call to my doctor confirmed that yes, the cervidil had done its job and they should remove it so that it didn't continue to give me medicine. Again, we'd relax the best we could and evaluate in the morning. The problem here is that the nurse couldn't find the cervidil. It gets inserted in you and is attached to a string for easy removal. When she couldn't find it we assumed it had fallen out when I went to the bathroom and I just didn't notice it.

At this point I began to realize that I wasn't going to get any sleep. Adrenaline kicked in, nerves took over, and the cramps they said might happen were more than just cramps. We spent the night walking the hall, bouncing on a ball, really doing whatever we could think of to make me comfortable as labor continued to progress. Around 1:00...maybe 2:00...the next few hours were kind of a blur...they gave me pain meds thru an IV. It was enough to take the edge off and allow me to sleep for an hour. When I woke up tho the meds had worn off and I was instantly asking for more. Of course it was too early to get more. I spent the next little while wondering how people do this naturally and decided it was time to request the epidural. Of course it takes time for the anesthesiologist to arrive so they gave me another dose of IV meds to hold me over. They failed to mention that this second dose doesn't always work for people. You guessed it-I'm one of those people that it didn't work for. The anesthesiologist arrived at 4:30. I don't know if I just looked incredibly miserable or if we were nearing that point of no return where you can't have an epidural, but he moved QUICKLY. At this point my contractions were coming hard and fast. Again, congrats to those of you who have done this without drugs.  I can't imagine how you did it.  They already had me leaned over a table in position for the epidural when the anesthesiologist arrived, he gave me some quick info and said we'd sign all the papers when we were done. The epidural itself didn't even hurt. In fact, I couldn't feel it over the pain of the contractions.

As soon as they started moving me back into bed my water broke. Another one of those "this hardly ever happens" moments. Paul and I were quickly realizing that if they said those words, it would happen to us. The epidural worked wonderfully and I was finally able to get comfortable. They called in my doctor who said that I was now about 8 cm and we'd keep monitoring everything. During this exam they found the missing cervidil! It hadn't fallen out and had continued to give me meds the entire night. The exact opposite of what we had wanted to happen. While I'm convinced it contributed to my quick progression of labor the nurse and Doctor did say that because of how quickly things went I likely would have gone into labor on my own at home that night.

At around 7:00 am they came in and had me start pushing.  After about an hour we took a break to allow the baby to get in a better position.  Her head was getting stuck on my cervix and the hope was that a break would allow my body to fix the problem itself.  At this time we told Paul to order breakfast.  Baby adjusted and his french toast arrived just in time for me to start pushing again.  Luckily he has a strong stomach as he was eating his french toast while I was throwing up.

After a couple more hours of pushing my contractions had slowed down to only every 5-7 minutes. They weren't able to make them come faster and baby's heartbeat was starting to slow down with each contraction.  My doctor came in at 11:00 and decided that we would try to use a vacuum and if that didn't work, baby would need to be born via c-section.  She was face up and not coming any further than she had been for awhile.  This is where things got scary for us.  She was fine, I was fine, but when 20 doctors and nurses suddenly show up in your room you start to panic.  When they made the decision to try the vacuum they started calling all of the necessary people in case we went to c-section so they'd be ready.  We tried the vacuum through 3 contractions.  She was so stuck it kept popping off her head and our doctor explained that if it hadn't worked already, the vacuum wouldn't help us.  So, to surgery we went.

The anesthesiologist for surgery was amazing.  He was like the voice of God talking over my head.  He explained everything and kept me calm through the entire surgery.  He said that the additional meds he gave me for surgery might make my arms tingle.  Funny joke.  My arms and hands were totally numb for the entire surgery and the 2 hours following.  When they cut me open we heard my doctor say, "Is that an arm???"  Ummm, how do you not know?  It turns out our little ninja had somehow turned herself into a breach position between the labor and delivery room and the operating room.  She had been head first.  They attached a vacuum to it, remember?  The doctor told us later that she has never seen a baby that engaged in the birth canal be able to back up and turn around.  Our little ninja was going to live up to her nickname for as long as she could!

Everything went well with surgery and our baby girl was born happy and healthy.  She spent the first two hours of her life screaming her head off.  We got to hold and snuggle her before our flood of visitors arrived {and continued coming for the weeks following}.  We feel so lucky to be parents to such a wonderful baby girl.  We love her more than we knew you could possibly love someone and are loving every moment with her.  Welcome to the world, Ninja Baby!

Day 1

This post is more...real?....no...I don't know what the word is.  All of the posts I've written have been real.  Real things.  Real stories.  Real adventures.  The pictures included are really of us and things we've done.  The difference is that for the most part those posts are all positive.  Sharing the fun, funny, happy adventures and memories.  This one's a memory and certainly the start of an adventure, but as I write it I am in no way feeling fun, funny, or happy.  In fact, I'm not even sharing this one on Facebook as I normally do.  If you happen to stumble upon it please go ahead and read it.  If I wanted it to be a total secret I wouldn't write it to begin with.

Today was day 1.  Day 1 of what I'm hoping is no more than 365.  {We still don't have a set end date.  Is it rude to ask on the first day?!?}  Paul moved to Green Bay today for his residency.  The last few days have been harder than I imagined they would be.  We've been trying to move out of the condo at the same time as packing his stuff, leaving me with a very empty house.  I cried when we took the pictures off the wall, I cried when we packed up the kitchen, and I cried when we put stuff in storage.  There's been a lot of crying.  There are boxes everywhere constantly reminding me of what's happening.  This was the first place we lived together.  It was where we got engaged, where we planned our wedding, where we had countless conversations about our future, where we lived when we got our first pet, and where we had planned to spend the next year or more of our lives together.  We had plans that involved babies and vacations and living our life the way we had been.  That all changed really quickly and apparently more quickly that I thought I was ok with.  I thought I was ready to say goodbye to this chapter and start the next and I am, I just didn't realize how difficult it would be.

I know this will work out and I know this will be for the best.  I know that.  It could be SO. MUCH. WORSE.  We're lucky that he's only 2 1/2 hours away.  I keep telling myself that over and over again.  I can't even tell you how many times I've told myself that this is what we need to do right now and that it will get easier.  However, as the kleenex piles up around me it's hard to believe it.  But, we've made it to the end of day 1!  And that means tomorrow is day TWO!  One. Day. At. A. Time.  That's how I'll take this for right now.  Hopefully soon it's one week at a time and before we know it, it will only be a couple short months.

I told you this post wasn't going to be sunshine and roses.  I warned you.  I'm not asking for pity and sad looks.  In fact, that's the last thing I need right now.  I just needed to be real with myself to hopefully make this more ok.  I've been holding in so many thoughts and emotions in front of people that I think it's actually made this more difficult.  So, for right now, no more strong and happy Julie.  Nope, for tonight I get to be sad and teary eyed Julie.  But just for tonight.  Tomorrow I'm going for a run and making it a new day.  I've got a plan and we're going to make this work.  For the next 364 days.

Changes

Ever feel like your entire life just got flipped upside down?  Yeah, that happened last week.  And we're still picking up pieces trying to figure it all out.  It's not that bad.  Really, it's not.  I tend to be overly dramatic.  Let's start at the beginning.

Paul was accepted to a sports physical therapy residency.  YAY!  Dreams come true.  For real.  He would LOVE to work in a sports setting and through his clinicals has realized that a residency is nearly required for any sort of job in a sport setting.  There are other routes, but this seems to be the most direct.  {Says the wife who really just does her best to understand it all but probably has this all wrong. Sorry, PT friends.  You can stop screaming at the screen now!}

The upside down part?  It's in Green Bay.  For a year.  That's 365 days, people.  If you haven't noticed we don't exactly live there.  We don't even live within a distance that would allow him to drive there and back every day.  So, he's moving.  Luckily we've got some great family that has helped to organize some living arrangements so that detail is figured out.

Me?  I'm staying.  In no way possible does it make sense for me to move there.  {Aside from the being with my husband part}.  I don't exactly have a job where I can work from home or just take a year off.  We have EVERY intention of Paul coming back when the residency is done, so the thought of moving for a year and dealing with trying to find a new job {again} makes me want to throw up.  Luckily we've got some pretty sweet family on my end too who have offered to take me in as well.  Yup, I'm moving back in with mom and dad!  I haven't lived at home in nine years.  There's potential that my sister will be back at home too and my brother's still there as well.  This should be interesting.

So, upside down just barely begins to describe it.  In the end this is a fantastic opportunity and if we didn't think it would be worth it we'd never have even considered an application.  I just have huge issues not knowing what's going on and so much right now is left up to time and "what ifs".  I have a first class ticket on the plane to crazy-town trying to figure it all out.  Let's not mention the fact that I don't exactly do well when he leaves for a night, much less an entire year.  I've been a walking-talking emotional disaster the past week or so.  It will get better.  It's just a lot to think about and figure out.

Our Top 10

HAPPY SPRING!  Except not.  Because it's still much below spring temperatures in my book as in "MILLIE!  HURRY UP AND PEE IT'S COLD OUT HERE!" gets said EVERY time I have to take her outside.  But I think {and hope and have all fingers and toes crossed} that all chances of indoor recess due to cold are well behind me.  And THAT, my friends, is news to get excited about!

Speaking of school, and this will be the only mention of it I promise, check out what one of my little friends wrote.  I know that most people are completely unaware of why it's so special, but this kid hates to write, usually has things crossed out instead of erased all over the place, and could care less if things are spelled correctly.  {Or first grade correct at least!}  This child was SO PROUD of their work and it meant so much to me!  Plus it's nice to have a little feel good every so often.  And in case you're confused, they're in 1st grade.  Which is good to know since in November they were still convinced they were in Kindergarten.

Ok, keeping up with the Joneses.  I was thinking our life has been pretty boring lately and not much to keep up with, but I was actually able to come up with a few fun things we've done.  So, here it is.  Our top 10...or however many pictures I actually come up with.  And really not in order of our "top", just in order of what what happened first.

1.  CHRISTMAS JAMMIES!  I think it's become a tradition now that we all get Christmas Jammies.  I know you're jealous.  And don't even think for one minute that those are just for fun.  I wear those on a regular basis.  They're SO WARM!  All was good until I was wearing my shark footies and a politician came to the door to campaign.  Our shades were open so I had to open the door.  In. My. Sharks.  The guy actually laughed at me!  OUT LOUD!  I'm not sure if that means I should or shouldn't vote for him.  New rule:  footie pajamas are only for after dark.

2.  Paul went to the Packer game in below zero temps looking like the Michelin Man's long-lost-Packer-loving-cousin.  No frost bite, just sad fans after a playoff loss.

3.  We had date night at Union South.  The rock climbing wall is SUPER FUN!  And slightly terrifying.  Especially when you realized just how far you've monkey climbed your way up there and aren't confident the rope will keep you from falling to your death.  But, everyone landed safely and we had a lot of fun.

4.  The Children's Museum had adult swim night for Valentine's Day.  It was an awkward mix of Valentine's Day haters there to make voodoo dolls {no joke} and those who had only been dating 2 weeks and weren't afraid to show their affection for each other.  Paul and I fit in neither of those 2 groups!  But, when there's a hamster wheel you have no choice but to have fun!  I've taken classes there for field trips and am always SO JEALOUS of the kids.  Dreams. Come. True.

5.  We had sibling fun day instead of exchanging Christmas presents.  We spent our day at Dave and Buster's where Hope and I both got the bonus on the Frogger game!  1,000 tickets EACH on only our second try!  WOOOOHOOOO!!!  Marshmallow shooter and glasses with windshield wipers here we come!  Somehow Paul withheld the information that had we pooled our tickets together we could have gotten the giant stuffed monkey.  I just can't understand why he didn't tell us that.

6.  Did you know that Nitty Gritty has brunch?!?!  I did not.  HOW did I miss this all of these years???  Yum, yum, yum!  Those mini donuts taste just like the ones at the fair!  {And cost half as much - bonus!}  Had we not been a little pressed for time you had better believe I would have been ordering that $14 Bloody Mary that comes with a cheeseburger on top.  Next time.

7.  Apparently our fat dog now brings her food in the car.  Obviously she has a rough life.  {This was NOT my idea!}

Shoot, that was only 7 and not 10.  Oh well.  Wait!  I found another.

8.  Anyone who knows Paul's grandpa knows how funny this is.  He has 2 TVs permanently installed in his living room.  Paul definitely channeled his inner Grandpa Jim yesterday to make sure he could watch both the Badger basketball and hockey games.  When I asked him what the H*&# he did to the living room he told me, "I made it better."  No.  No you did not.

9.  I've been spring cleaning like a crazy person around here.  Closets are getting organized, showers and floors are getting scrubbed, cars are getting cleaned.  Because I know you could care less about the inside of our closets I'll spare you the before and after pictures.  Just know that no matter what Paul tells you they ARE better than they were before and it was TOTALLY necessary to buy all of those dollar store baskets to put stuff in.  I no longer have things falling on my head when I open the closet doors.  

10.  Spring cleaning is all in preparation for spring break next week.  I want to have some fun over break and not spend the whole time cleaning.  By fun I mean lay on the couch.  Maybe switch it up and stay in bed past 6:00 am.  Spring break means SPRING which means Easter which means JELLY BEANS!!  Yum!

Hey!  We made it to 10!  Oh, and did you notice I changed our blog a bit?  I know it's not that impressive and nowhere near as cool as what {expensive} professionals can do, but for not knowing what the heck I'm doing I'm pretty darn proud of myself.  Have a GREAT week!

11:00 Checkout

Ok, time to wrap up this Hawaiian adventure since we've now been home for over a month and believe it or not, I actually have other things to share!  This may be the longest post I ever write, so stick with me.  I promise the ending is hilarious and totally worth reading all the way through.

Friday.  We went on a snorkeling adventure on a super sweet boat that had a high dive and a water slide!  I did not go off of either of those.  15 ft drop-off into super deep ocean water?  No thanks.  I don't do deep water.  We had a great time floating around and saw some awesome fish swimming around in the coral.  My nervous self demanded that my fish-like husband at the very least take a noodle with him for safety to which he threw an absolute fit about.  Don't worry, I used a noodle AND a kick board to keep myself afloat.  Unfortunately I  got sea sick partway through the trip so spent more time on the boat than I would have liked to, but we still had fun.  There were dolphins swimming near our boat at the dock and alongside us on the way back which were just as fun as the fish we saw!

Friday night was our second attempt at the luau and this time was a success!  Thanks to our first attempt I knew just where to go to get pictures of all of the pre-luau events and didn't have the fight the crowds as much as the people there for the first time.  Bonus!  We had a lot of fun and enjoyed many more Mai Tais.  With rum.

You have no idea how many tries it took to get this picture.  Stupid quickly-setting sun and people who don't know how to operate a camera.

On Saturday we made another trip to the other side of the island for some segue and zip-line fun.  Segues are the most dorky looking form of transportation ever.  But, don't judge until you've ridden on one because they are also one of my favorite forms of transportation.  We ended up being the only people on both tours and had a blast with our tour guides.  We segued through the Botanical Gardens where we saw a bunch of fruit trees we had never even heard of and got to see a few extra trails and waterfalls since we were the only people on the tour.  The guide also let us bring home a bunch of ripe fruit to try!

Those are off-road segues.  Extra cool.

Our initials are carved into that bottom leaf.  The guide said they would last there for 3 or more years!  {Insert corny only-on-your-honeymoon jokes here.}

Our zip-line guides were definitely a little interesting and loving life, but they did say that their lines have to be certified so I just kept telling myself we were safe.  We had so much fun on the course and I can't wait to zip-line again someday!  We even got to try a fruit called ice cream bean that tasted just like vanilla ice cream!

From there we went to the Akaka Falls.  There's a 1 mile loop through the rainforest that walks past a HUGE waterfall.  It was absolutely amazing and I'm so glad we decided to add it to our day.

Sunday was happily titled Bloody Breakfast Day.  We decided to stay local and go out for breakfast, including a Bloody Mary or two.  We walked down the road stopping at the shops and flea market along the way.  Then, the best part.  The Packers played at 11:00 am local time.  NAP TIME!!! For me, not for Paul.  Nothing beats a mid-morning nap with the sound of the ocean in the background.  That afternoon we headed back to the beach we had been told would have turtles and finally had some luck!  We were just about to leave when I heard a kid tell his mom he saw some turtles swimming around and all of a sudden there they were!  We also hung out at the less-crowded beach by our condo for awhile and made an awesome dinner at our condo that night.  By far the best meal we ate the entire time we were there except for the day we had Taco Bell and Jack in the Box.  {We were STARVING.  Don't judge.}

When you're on your honeymoon you have to write your name in the sand, right????

Monday was our last day on the island.  We had plans to do a Moped tour in the morning, then come back to our condo to clean, do some laundry, and shower before returning our car and flying home that night.  We had SO MUCH FUN riding around on our mopeds to the beaches on the tour list.  {They're my other favorite form of transportation.}  We went to a black sand beach where the water was really calm and there were hardly any people at the beach.  It was so relaxing!  We found a place for lunch and were headed back at around 1:30 when we got a call from the person that owns the condo we were renting.  He told us that their checkout time is 11:00.  Obviously we didn't know since it was already 1:30.  The better part?  There was another family coming in after us and their plane had come in early so they were already there.  With all of our not-at-all-cleaned-up stuff.  Oops.

So, we quickly grabbed our things, shoved them in bags as fast as we could, and headed out without a shower and without the clean laundry we wanted for the plane.  Remember, we had been at the beach all morning.  The sandy, sunscreeny, sweaty beach.  Ick.  The cleaning lady offered to let us use the shower at the pool if we wanted to.  You mean that outdoor thing they want you to use to rinse off before you get in the pool?  That's NOT a shower and I am NOT using that!  Luckily we found a {FREE!} aquatic center with locker rooms where we could shower.  So, we bought towels at Wal-Mart, showered, and re-packed our suitcases in the middle of the parking lot.  It was now 2:30 and our car didn't have to be back until 7:00.  Not a problem except our flight wasn't until 10:30 that night!  We were not about to sit around at the world's smallest airport for 8 hours.  We decided to go see Saving Mr. Banks at the move theatre which turned out to be a good plan since it rained that afternoon anyway.  Not exactly the way we planned to end our trip but honestly, I'm so glad we didn't realize we had such an early checkout because we probably wouldn't have gone on the Moped tour and we would have missed out on all of that fun!

We had great flights home and even got upgraded to the exit row which has extra leg room!  {The seats don't recline though so that was kind of a bummer.}  As we were landing in Madison and could feel the plane sliding ALL OVER the runway the people across the isle from us so kindly started talking about the plane that had slid off the runway about a week earlier.  Thank. You. Very. Much.  Meanwhile, I was death gripping Paul's hand and hoping we stopped before we slid into a snowbank.  We thought we were so smart taking a picture of the temperature when we left home.  It turns out it was colder when we got back.  So cold in fact that the jet bride was frozen and we had to be taxied to another gate.  Welcome home!

Cheers to a great vacation!